Paying pre-need for funeral goods & services in advance is not recommended; casket models and prices change like cars, funeral homes change owners or go out of business, and refunds are always partial. If you have your heart set on being buried in a particular location, that is the exception.

If you sign a contract with a funeral home and the estate does not have enough funds to pay for it, you will be responsible for the bill.

If naming one child the executor of your estate, inform their siblings. You do not have to ask for permission, but it avoids potential problems and strife among siblings. They will know in advance who is going to have the legal say in decision-making, and prevents the feeling of not being “chosen” during a time of grief.

The Funeral Consumers Alliance, a consumer advocacy group offers a booklet for final wishes, and they recommend storing this document in a plastic bag in your refrigerator where it can be accessed easily. Remember to communicate its existence to loved-ones & friends.

Consulting & Planning continued

There are three reasons to plan ahead.

The most important reason to plan ahead is to protect friends and loved-ones.
It is difficult for someone to make plans for your disposition while they are facing the reality that they must go on without you. Many families experience even greater trauma when decisions are not made in advance. It is not unusual for family members to disagree or to do as they wish once they are in charge, and wounds can be opened that might never heal. When decisions have been made, family members can put their energy into carrying them out, and comforting one another. Preplanning is a gift you give to those you love.

Another reason to plan ahead is to control what is done with your body, at what price, and how you say good-bye. Most family members will honor your wishes if you put them in writing. By determining the services you want in advance, you can estimate the price, and set the money aside in a Totten trust or Payment-on-Death account, which is a savings account that can be designated for these expenses. Funerals, it is said, are for the living, and if you’d rather have a memorial in the wine country, a celebration near the ski slopes, or a wake at your home, saying goodbye in a setting that is a reflection of you and how you lived your life will mean a lot to those who want to commemorate the life you have lived.

Saving money, or getting the most for your money is the third reason to plan your farewell in advance. Funerals can be shockingly expensive. By planning ahead you can save your family money. For the average price of a “traditional” funeral ($7,500, not including cemetery fees), you can throw an imaginative and personal farewell that will be a reflection of who you were and what you meant to people.

Farewell Assistance recommends you plan ahead:

1. Meet with a Farewell Assistance for preplanning. This will include a letter of instruction which can contain: a contact list, service arrangements, organ donor information, a copy of an advanced directive, HIPPA waiver, where your important documents can be located, contact information for your attorney and accountant, etc. Certainly you can do this yourself, but we know our professional expertise will be extensive and it is well worth hiring us, particularly if you want a unique service that requires event planning experience.
2. Meet with an Estate Attorney to establish if you need a will and a living trust. They can also evaluate if you need life insurance, and how much. Be careful to meet with an attorney, and not a company that does “free” estate planning, as they often using this ploy to sell you insurance or financial products for large commissions.
3. At minimum, have an attorney draw up the forms for a health care directive, a HIPPA waiver, and a durable power of attorney, even if you don’t do a will. This should not be expensive, and everyone should do this the day they turn 18.

Many tender memories soften your grief,
May fond recollection bring you relief,
And may you find comfort and peace in the thought
Of the joy that knowing your loved one brought...
For time and space can never divide
Or keep your loved one from your side
When memory paints in colors true
The happy hours that belonged to you.

~ Helen Steiner Rice